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Sunday, August 5, 2012

On Finishing Books

The progression of covers that Delusions of Fate has had. This was the first inkpop cover, made by CL Dean. The second was made by RaeLee on inkpop. It was my Wattpad cover until the title changed. And the third was the official cover until the title change, made by me. The last, also made by me, is the official cover today.


So I've been writing since I was ten. And countless numbers of plot bunnies and started-then-scrapped beginnings later, I've completed just one book, Delusions of Fate.

At first, I couldn't really believe it. The night I finished it, it still had yet to sink in that I'd finished my first book ever, that I was truly done writing it. I'd started it in October, scrapped it in November, and wrote furiously all through December. I took January off, and finished the first 66k draft on Valentine's day. My dad was yelling at me to go to bed, I had school the next day, and when I finally jumped into bed that night, I couldn't believe it. As Truman Capote once said,

"Finishing a book is just like you took a child out in the back yard and shot it.

He couldn't be more right.

Because yes, I had absolutely no idea where the plot was going and felt like tearing my hair out on several occasions because of it. And yeah, I had no idea what one of the central character's roles would be. And Delusion totally did start out as a ghost story that I promptly scrapped except for the characters when the plot got too boring. (True story: Girl who draws people and they die somehow turns into Girl finds out she has horrible destiny and wants to figure out how to stop it, yaddah yaddah yaddah.)

I could list all of the things that went wrong when writing this book, but then, I could also list all of the things that went right. Like the fact that Jia's voice was so natural to write in that even when things were tough, that's what kept me writing. I was just about to give up on it in December, when nothing but Jia was going right.  A month later, her voice wouldn't leave my head, telling me to just finish the darn thing. Like the fact that some of the characters surprised me in the roles they took. It wasn't me writing the characters and them obediently following, it was the them taking , and the fact that I love the world that I wrote this in. Like the fact that I got further on it than I ever have on a writing project, mostly because of my inkie supporters and the Word War thread. 

Anyways, to explain the quote: even though there's still so much revising to do, and even though there's still Books 2 and 3 to write, the writing of Book 1 is finished. And even though revising is way more fun than I expected it to be, I still prefer writing. It may sound obvious, but I'll never write Book 1 again, will never again discover this world and all its annoying-yet-wonderful characters again for the first time. And that makes me sad. 

(I know, I know. I'm talking about a book character and a world that's just a figment of my imagination...I know I sound crazy. But it's true. The curse of being a writer, I guess.)
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Anyways. 

And even though I'm done writing it, and pretty close to finishing the revising portion, Delusion/Delusions of Fate (whichever you want to call it) will always have a special place in my heart, no matter how many books I write. (Many, many more, I hope.) It was my first book, and I believe that it's what truly made me want to be a writer more than anything.

So for me, I guess, finishing my first book was bittersweet. And I think that's the way it is for most people. 




2 comments:

  1. For me it was and still is one of those 'Meh' moments. :c I want to be excited! Why amn't I happy with finishing?!

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  2. Sam: Same!

    My emotions must be skewed or something. xD

    ReplyDelete